


When You Were Supposed To Be Alone

by LexAmbrose7



Series: Destiel-time travel (season 12) [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: At the end of season12 Castiel travels to the past, Castiel life, Castiel memories, Castiel past, Castiel was the first human, Chuck Shurley is God, Chuck doesn't know a shit, Chuck is good, Chuck trying to be a good parent, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic John Winchester, I should be doing homework, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Minor Character Death but not really, Spanish trying to write english, Standford-era, Teenchesters, The Author Regrets Nothing, Time Travel, Time Travelling Castiel (Supernatural), homofobia, long story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 13,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26093989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexAmbrose7/pseuds/LexAmbrose7
Summary: "I love you" Cas said laying on the ground "I love all of you". Dean is heart broken, he shouldn't die, not again. Not now with all the shit they're into. He nows this isn't the first time he has seen him died, but maybe... if they're not lucky enough this time would be for real.Forever gone.But not know, he doesn't died. Not for a while at least.---After a while Castiel does died.He died, and this time is different. Always is different, but this time he knows something changed. And after a long time he remember, he remember how he started.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Series: Destiel-time travel (season 12) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990330
Comments: 13
Kudos: 45





	1. Prologue: Keep Fighting

**Author's Note:**

> I think there's gonna be a lot of swearing during this story.
> 
> Update wednesday or sunday. Sometimes both.
> 
> My Castiel playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/375Ii3S9wdutwjFGSKkieb?si=vAF4MFITTFmhh735BcXNhQ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is my first story here and also my first story written in english.
> 
> This is kind of a practice story because I really want to improve my writting, so please help me and advise me from any mistake that you notice.
> 
> Thanks a lot.
> 
> (P.D. Probably nobody is gonna read this, or at least not a lot, but if you're here:  
> Hi, it's really nice to know other members of the SPN family. I hope you enjoy this.)

(1)

They are all tired. Hopefully, none of them have let their guard down for a long time. The worst thing is that everything hit when they thought they would get a break. Amara seemed to be the end, it seemed to be the biggest problem, but the British Men of Letters had to appear, Chuck had to abandon them all again and Lucifer had to want to get the attention of someone, whoever, because he would not admit that he actually still wanted his father's attention.

A frustrated child seeking attention, too powerful for other beings to survive another of his tantrums. Too dangerous and with so many emotions.

And now this, a demon, a hunt gone terribly wrong. Half-truths, disloyal allies, a broken family, dead friends, and bad luck that stalks them whenever and wherever they go.

Castiel's soul has been dead for a long time, longer than most. He doesn't remember centuries of his life, he doesn't remember much of what he have done, but much of what he do remember is painful. Of course there are good moments, but these are overshadowed by all the bad ones, by the deaths of all those people with whom he has shared a laugh, a happy moment. Everything is overshadowed by the countless mistakes he seems to never stop making. Everything is overshadowed by always comparing the faces of Sam and Dean with how they looked the first time he saw them, yes, the apocalypse and the deaths of loved ones weighed on them, but before they were more alive, less broken, with more hope. They carried less blame, less betrayal.

But they are still better than him. He feels so incompetent, manipulative and weak, the world doesn't need him. But Sam and Dean make a difference, their absence is palpable everywhere. Even Mary took less time to adjust to this new world, she hunts monsters, they ask her for help, she continues to do multiple things in the old school style, but she is human, she is a hunter, and one of the best.

"I love you" Cas says to the Winchesters laying on the ground "I love all of you".

He on the other hand ... yes, he fought, he was a soldier of the army of heaven, but somehow every time those words are repeated they lose more and more meaning, he no longer has the same strength or security as when he said them before. Any Winchester ... almost anyone, human he has ever met is a hundred times better than him.

And yes, there are worse humans, there are worse angels, but no matter how hard you try to be a Winchester, everything always goes wrong, someone always ends up hurt because of you. It has emotions, but not a soul. And his grace is weak, like his body, full of wounds, broken. The bones of the memory of powerless wings. The body of a soldier who has lost everything. A soldier with only two friends, who despite being humans are much stronger than him.

At that moment the only thing he can ask of them is to keep fighting, to keep fighting as he never could. Because he couldn't die with the idea of a world without a Winchester to protect it.

But he doesn't die, not today at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I know this was short, but I think almost all of the chapters are gonna be like this.
> 
> Sorry, I feel more confortable like this than with really long chapters.
> 
> The good side is that they're gonna be a lot (I guess).
> 
> Edit: I feel like I rushed everything the first time and I didn't feel confortable with what I did, so now I changed it. I hope you like it.


	2. Snatched From the Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now here is where he dies.

(2)

The sword crosses his chest. All he hears is Dean's scream as all his grace explodes inside him, somehow he nows that this time he is going to die, and he is surprised not to see his whole life cross his eyes. The only thing that floods him is emptiness.

Which doesn't seem to change, but from one moment to the next it feels slightly different. It stop being so eternal to become so simple. He only tried drugs once in his life when he was human, but the feeling is relatively the same. Nothing matters and you don't feel the need to rush anything or find out what's going on.

He closes his eyes, although he does not notice that he has closed them until he opens them again and a small dot of light appears on his radar. When he gets closer it feels like he is swimming in something similar to water.

As he approaches to the point of light, the idea of guilt embraces him. A great guilt of someone else directed towards him. He doesn't know how to react to that, but he don't have to, because the next instant he breaks the surface.

The feeling of how dark was under that unknown sea disappears and a cozy wind and summer sun tickle his face. He takes an air mouthful, a habit that has stick to him after so many years of being in Jimmy's body, and a smile grows on his face.

It is easy for him to stay on the surface.

After what may have been years or just a few minutes a giant wave of memories hits him.


	3. In The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel's forgotten memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the chapters that I had published so I suggest you to go read them before you start this.

(3)

Castiel was with Gabriel in God's new creation called Earth. Lucifer had described it as 'clingy, ugly, and stupid' but all the time he spent there just made him want to stay longer. They flew between trees, mountains and clouds, touched the water with the tips of their wings while going at maximum speed, they swam until they saw what the deepest darkness hid inside and stopped in the most spectacular places where if they stayed still enough all kinds of animals would come out to meet them.

Now they were in a piece of the earth that touched the sea. The sky at that time had a range of orange colors and Castiel was so astonished and amazed of the hundreds of shapes and colors it was able to have.

They had been there a long time, alone. The rest of the angels were not yet notified about this new creation and the other archangels have 'very important occupations to be postponed for wasting time playing with a new toy of God.'

"Dad spends less time with us because of me?" Castiel asked out of nowhere. They had spent so much time in silence that Gabriel jumped a little and then turned to look at him in disbelief.

"Why do you think that, Castiel?" A bit of hatred towards his father leaked into his words without the other noticing it.

"Well ..." Castiel hesitated, it was true that he could communicate more easily with Gabriel than with any other angel, but he still had to struggle to get his thoughts out "Dad ... he started to ... disappear more than usual after ... that-" Gabriel interrupted him, he knew what he was referring to and there was no need for him to repeat it, his father had found something different in Castiel and he had liked it so he had dedicated himself to exploring this more deeply.

"He started to leave more often because he wants to fill the universe with places just as beautiful as this one. Okay? You are not to blame for any of that, little brother." He moved closer to the angel child and surrounded him with his large wings, closed his eyes and brought his foreheads together. He could feel Castiel smiling slightly and he couldn't help but look at him with an even bigger smile that then turned into a malicious one.

He took Castiel with a single pair of wings and spread the rest launching himself to flight. A cry of surprise came from Castiel followed by a blissful laugh. He settled on Gabriel's wings but Gabriel dropped him. Castiel spread his wings instantly and flew like no angel is capable of flying.

Castiel and Gabriel were reprimanded when they returned to Heaven, but the thought of regret never crossed their minds.


	4. Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wakes up in a motel room with his vessel younger and a message in a notebook.

(4)

Castiel opens his eyes, involuntary tears wet his cheeks.

All his memories are again at his disposal and he never believed there were so many. Hundreds of years completely erased, so many half-memories, so many implanted lies. He closes his eyes again and lets out a slow sigh.

The angel doesn't move for a long time, but in the end the curiosity to know where he is invades him. His hands run over the bed he's in, and something in him is restless. A bed? Is ... is he still alive? Or is this ...? emptiness cannot be like this. It's imposible.

Still lying down he stretches his whole body, and that's when he discovers that his clothing style has changed, a thin yellow and orange sweater with two giant purple and black squares; light blue jean pants; and some black socks with little decorating bees are the first things he notices.

He gets up, comes across some white tennis shoes with black stripes, puts them on, and looks up and down the little room he's in. Everything has a very different style to any other motel he have been to. It's not the dirt, that seems to be the only thing in common with the rest. The colors are blue and yellow and the decoration is dominated by dots and strange lamps that he had only seen in abandoned houses.

On one of the small tables next to the bed rests a dirty white landline phone and next to it a small notebook has something written down.

Forgive me, son. I never wanted you to suffer everything you went through.  
That's why I want you to have a second chance.  
P.D. You are on May 18, 1996.

Chuck.

God, his father, decided to give him a second chance. No matter how many centuries passed, no matter that all his memories were at his disposal, he would never be able to understand him.

"Thanks, Dad." Even without knowing how his father's mind works, he was extremely grateful. He had already made so many mistakes and he knows he may continue making them, but he's not going to miss an opportunity like this. The ability to erase his biggest mistakes and help his friends makes him really happy.

.

Behind the letter he found papers that God thought he would need. A birth certificate, which said that he was born on August 20, 1976, which meant that he 'is' 19 human years old; a driver's license with keys; papers that said he had completed his studies through high school and the coordinates of a place in Illinois.

Now he is driving in the car the keys belong to a Lincoln Continental very similar, but not exactly the one, that he had owned in the future.

Panic begins to grow inside Castiel, he has no idea where to start, he wants to go in search of Sam and Dean, but he does not know if it is for the best, plus it is very likely that John will end up killing him if he discovers that he is not human. So he drives without a course.

At one point the confinement is so much that he parks on a corner, gets out of the car and lay on his forehead on the roof.

His desire to fly is so great that he unconsciously spreads his wings, when he is about to hide them again, he notices that they are complete, as fluffy and strong as they were at first, before so many wars happened, before being full of wounds.

" 'Come on, little brother' " -the echo of Gabriel's voice forces him to stretch his wings and move them from one side to the other as if checking that they are real, it is true that he has just lived his whole life while he remembered her, but the idea of flying is still unreal to him, something that belongs to a lot of time ago, so much that he stumbles forward on the first try, but not to much because on the second he returns to the skies flying just as well and as fast as in the past.

It has been years since he has felt so free.


	5. A Coincidence or Chuck?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby meets Castiel.

(5)

Two months later.

Castiel hides between a stinky dark alley, without losing sight of the Werewolf responsible for more than 5 murders. With a gun in hand and his sword hidden in his clothes in case any complication occurs he gets closer to his objective who puts aside his human appearance.

After the transformation finished he approaches from behind, when the werewolf turns around he fires two quick shots to the chest. Kneeling close to the man, the transformation pulls back completely and looks Castiel in the eye.

"I'm sorry," Castiel whispers the instant the man dies, recognizing in his eyes that his conscious and human part did not know all the damage he did.

He is about to hide his gun, but he's forced to look up finding an average white American man, wearing a blue shirt hidden by a flannel and light brown vest; a scruffy beard, a cap just as dirty as the rest of his clothes and a gun aimed at Castiel. The angel recognizes him, so he slowly raises his hands trying not to look like a threat even though he can't hurt him.

"He was the werewolf," he says trying to keep his voice neutral.

"Prove that you are not one too" he ordered, moving only to throw a silver knife at him. When Castiel takes it in the air and makes a small cut in the palm of his hand the man loosens his grip on the pistol, although not completely "Are you a hunter? How old are you, boy?"

"I'm a hunter. I'm 20 years, sir" Castiel still doesn't understand why since he arrived at this time everyone keeps calling him a boy. He looks younger than in 2017, but he does not have the age of a child.

"Do you have a place to spend the night today, son?" Bobby is concerned when he notices how young the other is, he does not notice him so dirty or undernourished, he does looks a little tired but his face is free of any eye bags. Anyway, Bobby knows hunters, and he knows that a) they are very reserved and b) they always stay in shabby motels. This hunter certainly looks different, and anyone can realize by just looking at his clothes that are more colorful than what a hunter usually wears, but this may not annul the motel thing.

Castiel is silent for a few seconds without knowing what to say, the last time he was in a motel was when he arrived, two months ago, since then he had not slept, he has been very busy trying to be ready for what he intends to do and he barely notices when it's night and when it's not.

Bobby takes his silence as a no and lowers his gun approaching to where the young man is.

"What's your name, boy?" He asks with his classic roughness, Castiel raises his hand, returning the knife to him, he takes it and shakes his head as a sign to make the boy follow him.

They walk in silence for over a minute and Bobby thinks his question is not going to be answered, but the stranger speaks up as they are about to reach his truck.

"Castiel," he says after releasing a small sigh that the hunter barely notices. He does not know how he will react, but in these weeks every person to whom he has told his name has thought that he was joking.

"Bobby" he says after snorting "Are your parents religious or why does it sound like an angel's name?"

"My... father, he had a peculiar taste when choosing names." He stops close to the truck and turns to see Bobby as he explains doubtfully.

"Do you have more brothers?" Castiel moves uncomfortable in his place and Bobby forces himself to slow his questions "My place is only about three hours to the east" when he sees Castiel nodding he gets into his car, after noticing that he does not move he asks "…Do you have a car?"

"Yes," he blinks and continues. "I parked it four blocks away." He raises his arm and points the way they came.

"Okay, I'll wait for you here," Bobby assured him and scowled when Castiel turned him around and walked away.

.

Castiel hadn't planned on founding Bobby, not yet, but he didn't know whether to consider the incident a mere coincidence or God giving him a push. Still, he couldn't refuse the help that was being offered.

When Bobby parks in front of his house, Castiel stops his Pimpmobile behind him, turns it off, takes his navy blue cloth backpack from the passenger seat and enters the house, closing the door behind him.

"Are you hungry? When was the last time you ate?" Asks Bobby while taking just one beer from the fridge. Castiel remains standing at the kitchen door not knowing what to do, his backpack on one of his shoulders and his hand stopping it. His wings, shriveled, move on his back nervous and wanting to fly away from the situation.

"I'm not hungry," he says, looking away, the taste of the molecules still in his memory. Bobby stares at him for a second, but takes a sip of his beer and nods, thinking about leaving some food outside anyway.

"Come on, you can stay in the visiting room." Bobby comes out of the kitchen and goes upstairs followed by Castiel.


	6. Winchester's Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam & Dean arrive to live through Christmas with Bobby.

(6)

Four months later.

Sam gets out of the Impala smiling, they're in Christmas holidays and this year they are going to be spending it with Bobby. Dean comes out, takes out their bags from Baby and stops close of the stairs turning to face their father.

"I'll be back in a few days. Tell Bobby where he can find me." John moves the car backwards without waiting for a response and speeds off down the road.

Both young men sigh and climb the few steps.

"Bobby," Dean yells after knocking on the door. "It's us, Sam and Dean," the only response they get is a bark from Rumsfeld coming from the backyard. Dean sighs and Sam runs to Rumsfeld in search of the key that the dog uses to keep, they both enter and settle in, Sam with a new book that he has just taken from a shelf and Dean with his Walkman and his headphones, waiting for Bobby's return.

.

It is two hours later when they finally hear two cars park, Dean wakes up from his nap and Sam looks up from the book but not before looking at the page where he stoped reading.

Bobby's voice is heard along with another, deep and unfamiliar, one. Both the door and the floor creak and the owner of the house smiles without being surprised at the visit of the Winchesters, but the young stranger takes a small step back in response, composing himself almost instantly.

"Bobby!" yells Sam.

"Finally!, we've been waiting forever, old man" followed by Dean yawning.

"Boys, what a perfect time for you to arrive, I've wanted to introduce you with this idjit for a long time now," Bobby says, smiling and then turning to see his companion, who takes a few steps forward.

"It's a pleasure, I'm Castiel." Dean almost jumped in surprise at the voice that came out of the young man a few years older than him. Believing from his appearance that a much thinner voice would be the one he was going to hear. "From the descriptions Bobby has given me I must assume that you are the Winchesters, correct?" the hunter nods and Castiel turns to see them.

"Hi, I'm Sam, is your name biblical? I've never heard it before" Sam is the first to speak, putting his book aside and leaning in the direction of the newcomers.

"Where do both of you know from?" Dean asks trying to understand if Castiel is a hunter, because he has never seen one with something other than a flannel shirt and less with such a colorful sweater, he does not even want to talk about those white tennis shoes similar to the ones they used to wear in a lot of musical videos from Queen and with those who he imagines it would be so difficult to hunt.

"A werewolf in Pierre, four months ago" Castiel answers, surprising Dean again, who stares at him like if he were some case that he can't make sense of. Those are the brightest blue eyes he's ever seen are staring back at him. Dean is the first to look away and examine the rest of his appearance, disheveled black hair, light blue jeans and that's where he notices a bit of blood on the lower left of it close to the shoes, he doesn't understand how he's noticing that until now. Castiel turns to Bobby "I'm going to go get my things ..." Before he finishes Bobby looks at him like he's crazy.

"You don't plan to leave just because they arrived, right? And what? Magically you just got a place to stay? No, don't even think about it, you're going to stay here and give these kids a chance, okay?" he barks like every time he doesn't allow something for some reason. Castiel is not surprised, nor indignant, hardly reacts or at least Dean does not notice any change. All he does is frown.

"... I'm going to take a shower," he seriously announces at the end, downplaying the previous conversation and going upstairs. Those who remain in the room react in completely different ways, Bobby just sighs and shakes his head, Sam smiles a little but tries not to laugh trying to put his face straight and Dean just stands there deciding that this 'Castiel' is too weird for his liking.

"Okay kids, where's your daddy?" Bobby asks as he heads to the kitchen to find some food suitable for two growing boys.


	7. Failed Getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is a disaster. He also goes shopping with Dean.

(7)

Castiel's head is a disaster equal or maybe worse than his wings, which spread and almost broke something after entering and closing the door of the room, which he is sure he will have to vacate because it is where Sam and Dean sleep.

He takes his backpack with all his things and sits on the bed for a few minutes taking several breaths of air. He knows this was going to happen and if he wasn't ready to see the Winchesters he shouldn't have kept coming to Bobby's house, but the man is very good company and makes him feel human. It makes time more enjoyable and relieves the pain that missing Dean, and Sam, makes him feel, because yes, he misses his friends, he misses that family that always cared about him, that family with whom he had so many memories.

That's why it hurts so much to be a stranger to these Sam and Dean. Besides, he doesn't know how to get back into a relationship with them, or if he ever will. He want them to like him, but these brothers are different. He takes all the air out trying to reduce the pressure in his brain, he places the backpack on his shoulder and leaves the room in the direction of the bathroom. The water doesn't have that pressure that characterizes the Men of Letters' bunker showers, but it still helps him relax.

.

He's about to get out after 15 minutes, knowing that Bobby's house does not have the necessary food for Sam and Dean, at least not for these Sam and Dean, so he decides to go shopping.

"Where are you going?" Bobby asks when he sees Castiel with his backpack on his shoulder, stopping explaining to Sam something he saw in the book he was reading.

"I wanted to go buy some things" he explains.

"Some things?" raise an eyebrow while asking.

"Yes, I've noticed that you don't usually have many things apart from beers, so you're going to need food for your guests" Castiel never turns to see anyone while talking.

"Sure. After so many months that you've been here, you've never agreed to eat with me and now you want to go 'shopping'? What's going on, boy?" He gets up and walks over to him. Castiel just shrinks into place.

"No, you know I don't ... the food, I ..." Castiel ruffles his hair making it messier "I wanted to do something nice for them, I know I'm not very good when it comes to talking to other people and from what you've told me they seem nice, I don't know ... just ..."

"You wanted to make friends" Bobby half asks and half affirms. He sighs when Castiel slowly moves his head up and down, nodding. "Okay, if that's what you want.... Dean, go with Castiel" orders and Dean is about to refuse, but if Bobby trusts him, at least going to buy food is not going to hurt.

.

Dean watches as Castiel sighs after a few minutes of silence in the car.

"There is a box with cassettes in the back seat, you can choose what you want," he says uncomfortably. Dean does not know what to expect from his musical tastes, so he takes the box resigned, hoping that there is at least one good song that disguises the silence.

"Zeppelin? You? You're a fan of Led Zeppelin, really?" He points with disbelief when he sees that a Led Zeppelin cassette is above all indicating that it is the one that he usually looks for most often "How?"

Castiel is silent as Dean places the cassette he had in his hands to play and goes back to studying Castiel's collection.

"I thought you would be more of the type ... The Buggles or something like that" he says distractedly. Castiel presses his lips and then closes his eyes for a second when he hears Dean's laugh "Yes, here it is. You have very varied tastes" music is the only thing they listen to for a while "Really? Starship?"

Castiel feels his face heating up, which he thinks is impossible. All the teasing that comes out of Dean is for those songs that either Sam or Charlie once recommended him. He turns to see it and finds Dean with a specific cassette and a frown, he won't admit that he doesn't recognize the song, but Castiel knows him well, even when this version is much younger. He leans over a little and sees that it's Bronski Beat, he heard the Smalltown Boy song from Kevin several years ago. For some reason he found it so interesting and he had to buy the cassette of the album it belonged to when he saw it while he was at the music store.

"If you don't recognize it, you can put it to play" he suggests with his eyes on the road, losing the uncharacteristic red on the passenger's face. Dean mutters something similar to a curse and after a little hesitation removes the previous cassette, placing the one titled 'The Age of Consent'.

The rest of the way they are in a silence slightly less awkward than at the beginning, but none let their guard down, not completely.

.

Castiel grabs a basket and walks trough the aisles looking for all the food he knows are Winchesters' favorites with Dean a few steps behind distracting himself with the things that he founds on the way.

"There's no need for you to hide them, Dean" Castiel says as he takes a jar of peanut butter. "I have enough money."

Dean freezes and resignedly places five items in the crowded basket.

"You should have taken a cart" he says, seeing how heavy it is and taking a pie this time putting it directly into the basket.

"It's not a problem." He shrugs it off and heads to where the vegetables are.

.

Castiel pays while Dean takes two of the bags and after that Castiel takes the rest.

"I've never bought so many things at one time" Dean admits as he places the bags on the back seats of the car and when he gets into his seat he sees that Castiel has already chosen the next cassette.

"Do you like TOTO? Where did you get the cassette from? I didn't see it on the box."

"It wasn't there" Castiel starts the car and accelerates while singing along with the song. He needs to fly, now. He needs to stop worrying about everything for a few seconds and just fly, but for now all he has is a box of cassettes, so he decides to lose himself in them all the way.

The green-eyed just twists in his direction and lowers his window glass keeping his eyes on the road.


	8. He's Not Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Bobby talk about Castiel.

(8)

"What is really Castiel?" Sam asks minutes after the young man and his brother leave. Bobby looks at him surprised "Come on! Am I the only one who noticed that he is wearing the same clothes even though he has just bathed? and what to say about the blood that was on his pants a few minutes ago?" He raises his arms exalted. Bobby sighs.

"I don't know what he is" Sam looks at him waiting for him to explain "Yes, I doubt he's human. I'm not completely sure, but I wouldn't be surprised. I ran into him four months ago, I tested him on everything, but he is nothing I know, apart from the clothes, he does not eat, I doubt that he sleeps when he is not here, he has excellent hearing even though he does not accept it and can see very well in the dark. He does not like to talk about his family or his past- but who in this life does?- and it is often difficult for him to understand people."

"But…" Bobby looks at him without understanding "Come on, that sounds like you have a 'but'. Why haven't you killed him or interrogated him at least? Why do you keep letting him come to your house?" Sam explains moving his arms. Bobby sighs again, tilting his head.

"There's ... there's something about the boy. Besides that I doubt he's a bad guy. He is a very good hunter, every time he is going to kill the one he thinks is the guilty, he investigates and checks if that is the murderer of his cases, also ... he is a very good company."

Sam accepts Bobby's decision with a small smile and later tells him that he will not try to question Castiel.

After a while the small one asks.

"Do you think Dean knows?" They both look at each other doubting what to think but now slightly more nervous and tense than a few second ago.

"I hope that idjit doesn't kill him" Bobby says after cracking his neck in preparation for whatever. Sam just lets out a nervous laugh, but rubs his hands like every time he fears his brother would be more of an asshole than usual and ends up getting them in unnecessary trouble.

.

Dean is the first to enter the house, Sam and Bobby wait a few seconds, but Castiel does not enter after him. They both shoot him a murderous look and ask with their eyes where the hell is Castiel.

"Hey, don't look at me like that. The weirdo stayed in his car for the song to finish" he crosses where they both are and Bobby gives him a zap as he enters the kitchen to leave the bags on the counter.

"Don't call him that" Sam complains with a frown and Dean just rolls his eyes. Of course, Sammy had to like Castiel.

Sam and Bobby let out a slight sigh when they see Castiel enter, who looks at them with slight curiosity but does not comment a thing.

"Are you all okay with me cooking today?" He asks after hesitating to enter the kitchen. Bobby and Sam turn to see and shrug their shoulders, Dean looks at the others as if they were crazy, but after rolling his eyes he shrugs his shoulders to and goes to sit on the couch.

Castiel enters the kitchen after seeing everyone's reactions.


	9. Cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel cooks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quotation marks "." are flashbacks.

(9)

_"-What are we doing here, Sam? You know Dean doesn't like that we 'mess up his kitchen' -Despite what he just said, Castiel doesn't move from where he is and Sam smiles._

_"-We -Sam points to the angel and himself- are going to cook something for Dean. Sam nods his head, feeling proud of his idea. Cas just looks at him not knowing what to do._

_"-But ... Dean is better at cooking than any of us, plus ... -Castiel doesn't know what else to say, but he's not as excited about the idea as Sam is. He's never been too interested in learning to cook._

_"-Come on, it's easy. I promise. I found a recipe on the internet that I'm sure Dean is gonna love. Also, I wanted to teach you one of the joys of being human and cooking is something we can start with -Sam slaps him friendly on the back and Cas frowns but follows him."_

.

Castiel follows all the steps. He repeats everything Sam did the day they decided to cook for Dean's birthday, washes the vegies, cuts them, sews the meat adding twenty-odd spices and moves around the kitchen trying not to lose himself in the memories.

.

_"Cas is left alone in the kitchen for some minutes, waiting for Sam to show up with Dean. They cleaned everything and set up the table which was ready for them to eat._

_"When Dean crosses the door Cas looks at him intently trying to identify all his reactions. Curiosity, surprise and happiness are the main ones and when he gets closer he lets out a happy laugh, cutting the distance with Cas almost completely._

_"-I see that Sam got you into one of his strange ideas -he says and takes a napkin which he uses to wipe the angel's face, and without taking his eyes fully off Castiel he turns to see his brother and speaks- Thank you."_

.

Cas smiles and wipes a lonely tear from his face. He finishes cooking, turns off and cleans everything, and on some plates he found he places portions of the food for everyone.

He doesn't have to move because Sam leans out and opens more his eyes when he sees the food. 

-Did you prepare all that? -Cas nods- Cool. Dean, Bobby, this looks delicious -he bets and without waiting for the others he sits in one of the chairs and after seeing all the food there, he takes a fork, in the first bite he tries to put a little of everything. His eyes close and he sigh. After he finishes chewing he turns to see Castiel- This -he points with his fork- is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten in my entire life.

Castiel smiles and sits in the chair next to Sam's. Bobby and Dean come in and sit down too. Bobby eats slowly, but not hesitating, because he knows that Sam isn't lying. Dean on the other hand smells and stirs the food without daring to taste it, when he lifts his eyes he sees how Castiel does not stop looking at him so he takes a small amount to his mouth in order to make the other lose interest in him. But he does not stay to verify it, because his eyes fly to his plate after feeling all that explosion of perfectly balanced flavors. He doesn't know if it's the fact that he always eats fast food, but this fresh new taste is somehow delicious.

There is a little salad, but not too much. Now he notice that his plate is the one with more meat. He thinks this is too good to be true and then he notices that Castiel does not have a plate.

-Why don't you eat? -Dean asks defensively. He knew something was wrong with this guy, he fucking knew it.

Sam and Bobby turn to see themselves devising a plan so that Dean does not suspect of Castiel, they know that if he discovers that he is not human, Dean probably will end up killing him.

-And? Aren't you gonna answer? -Castiel stops to think just a second, he doesn't want Dean to be against him. He could eat, he can eat, the taste of each molecule is not so bad. He can take it, it's okay.

-If it makes you feel calmer I can have my portion of food -he says, and Bobby and Sam are surprised to see how calm he seems with the idea. Dean just shakes his head making it clear that he is waiting for him, his fork remains on the table until Castiel returns with a plate similar to the one he served them.

It is after taking the first bite that they notice that Castiel's shoulders were tense when they start relaxing. Castiel doesn't look up for several minutes and eats slowly. That time he cooked all this with Sam, he hadn't had a chance to taste it, he had his mojo back and he didn't know anything about how he was human. So he just had to take the brothers' word for it when they said it was good. But now, now for some reason he can feel the flavors, not the molecules, just the flavors and it was delicious. Even better that Pb & J.

He had never eaten anything so good and now he feels like he is about to cry.

The memories of Sam and Dean building with every bite he takes.

.

_"-Cas, we're going to have to find a way for you to taste the food again. Seriously, man, you can't miss this" -remembered the confidence with which Dean told him that. But then they were too busy to get back to that topic._

.

Sam notices the teary eyes and sad smile on Castiel's face and asks.

-Is this special for you? Is that why you didn't want to eat it in front of us? -Asks trying to understand. Castiel just nods and keeps his eyes on the plate.

Dean makes a frown in his face, but he takes the fork and goes back to eat.

The rest of the food is quiet, but everyone is comfortable to break it or even notice it.


	10. Stars

(10)

Several hours have passed. The lights of the living room are now on, contrasting the orange hue of the house with the visible darkness coming from the window.

Sam and Bobby went upstairs to their respective rooms leaving Castiel alone, sitting on the couch with a book and his notebook on his lap.

Some minutes later Dean comes in covered in grease from working on one of the cars and, with just a glance at him, goes straight to the bathroom with his duffle bag that had been near the entrance since he arrived early and put it there.

Castiel sighs, loving the silence and tranquility that have taken over the room by staying alone in it. These last few months he has been hunting and has improved a lot at it, being of help his memories and all the time of the day he uses.

He discovered that the address Chuck had given to him was a place in Illinois where was located the key to the bunker. But in this half year he has not felt brave enough to go there knowing that his family will not be there.

Now he feels more secure, after seeing a younger Sam, with more opportunities, hopes and fewer burdens, no memories haunting him. He knows that he must hurry, before the demons or angels make any moves.

So when all this meeting is over he will go straight to the bunker, all the tools and information that he will need are in some part of your home.

.

He needs to get out. So he goes through the back door and climbs a ladder to the side leaning his back on one of the slopes of the brown roof.

He can see all the stars and, trying to focus on them with the simplicity with which humans see them, relaxes and forces his mind to take a break from so many feelings and so many ideas, futures, fears. Everything temporarily fades in a liberating way.

He lies there for several hours and even in a moment he flies visiting what he can of the sleeping side of the world.

Until tiredness takes hold of him and forces him to enter the house to sleep a few hours in the old armchair covered with a warm and soft blanket, something unusual in the characteristics of Bobby's things since Castiel bought it a few months ago.


	11. Drawings of Strangers

(11)

Dean comes out of the bathroom with his clothes on and his short hair a little wet. Ah, the water pressure isn't great, but it's the best he's had in a long time.

He is about to lie down on his bed next to Sammy when he notices that his headphones are missing.

Shit, he let them on the first floor.

With all the laziness he can reflect, he goes down the stairs and takes his Walkman along with his headphones.

His hand intersects with the notebook in which he saw Castiel writing and stops.

Curiosity rapidly gaining ground and taking over completely by not noticing the owner of it anywhere.

He bites his lip and opens it.

Dean is a bit surprised to see that he does not understand anything that is written in the notebook.

He turns the pages anyway. Not knowing what it is he is looking for, but sure he will know when he sees it.

His hands stop the pages landing in one where he can see a pencil sketch of a bee surrounded by flowers, it seems almost real. Dean watches it for a moment and then continues turning the pages, there are several simply drawings filled with those unknown letters, others have small drawings of what he believes is something supernatural, but those drawings with landscapes, people, moments of a normal life occupy all off the pages they are on.

A young woman laughing while carrying what looks like her daughter, children in a sandbox building a castle, a squirrel eating or climbing trees, birds, strangers' faces from all kinds of angles.

He pauses for a longer time on the drawing of a young woman, her hair is red, it is the first drawing with color that he sees. The hair, short and curly, has all kinds of shades, it seems so real that it waits for it to move or leave the notebook at any moment. Her smile is huge and disastrous. He wonders if she is someone important to Castiel.

At the bottom of the picture is the name 'Charlie' in cursive letters and for a second it feels like if he can hear her speak.

The next big drawing is found a few pages later. They are two men in their thirties, both laughing, only the green eyes of the short haired one are colored. Something in him hits him, as if he knows them, as if he knows what is happening in that scene, but he knows that it is impossible and turns the page to find a drawing of Bobby.

He does not want to accept it, he has never been an art lover, but the drawings feel so real and convey so many emotions that when he passes Rumsfeld's drawing to find Sammy smiling, he wants to go find Castiel and ask him to let him keep the drawing, he stops when he knows there is no good explanation to tell him that he was looking at his notebook.

He sighs and closes the notebook without finishing looking at the rest of the content, he takes a bite of the piece of pie that Castiel bought and that they kept in the fridge and climbs the stairs lying on the bed next to Sammy trying to sleep with the drawings still spinning in his head.


	12. Sleepy Breakfast

(12)

The first to come down is Bobby, who sees Castiel wrapped up in the armchair with one leg out, one hand on his stomach and the other under his head as a pillow.

Bobby decides to ignore the concern of knowing until what time the young man stayed awake and, with what Castiel bought yesterday he starts to make breakfast for everyone because it is already 10 am, he is surprised to have woken up so late when he is always already working at about 7 am.

Sammy is the next one to come down, still in his pajamas, with his bare feet and his hair in all directions make a mess.

"Good morning, Bobby," he says, yawning at the end of the greeting, but taking a seat on one of the kitchen chairs with a book in hand.

"Mornin', boy," the older one puts a glass of milk in front of the child and messes up his hair more than it already is.

Several minutes later, breakfast is ready and he is serving it when Dean comes down, attracted by the smell of the food, barely aware of what's going on around him, but feeling the need of food and when he passes by and sees the only sleeping person in the house and sees that he is about to fall with one foot already rosing the floor he gets closer and lifts him up a bit, moving him away from the corner.

"Cas" calls moving his shoulder "Castiel, breakfast is ready, aren't you gonna eat?" His voice is almost a whisper and still sounds slightly hoarse from sleep, he does not know what stops him from going back to bed and sleeping a while longer.

Cas doesn't move and Dean gives up, dragging his feet to where the others are.

Both Bobby and Sam look at him as if another head had grown from his neck as he begins to eat.

"What?" he says with his mouth full.

"Nothing, son, it's just..." Bobby hesitates, not knowing how to finish the sentence, and Sam speaks instead.

"Dude, you were nice to Cas, and you even called him Cas!" Sam moves his hands and raises his voice a little.

"It's no a big deal" Dean keeps eating and both Bobby and Sam notice the blush he tries to hide, but they don't mention it.

It's when Castiel wakes up and goes to eat with them sitting inches away from Dean that Sam starts making strange faces and hearts with his hands till Dean throws a half-eaten bacon at his face.

Castiel frowned in question at both brothers, but Dean just shook his head and continues chewing.

When everyone has finished eating and cleaning up Castiel takes his notebooks and books that were on the table and his backpack, and then talks in Bobby's direction.

"I know we had that hunt scheduled for today, but now that they've arrived I think you want to spend more time with them" he closes his backpack where he had just put all his stuff, and places it on his back.

Bobby is about to reply, but Castiel cuts him off.

"Don't worry, I can handle it" he smiles, assuring him that there is no problem, and walks out through the front door.

"This idjit" Bobby grunts.

"You're not gonna follow him?" asks Dean, raising an arm in the direction of where Castiel disappeared with a slightly offended tone. Bobby just looks at him trying to understand what's going on in his head, but then sighs.

"Castiel can handle it" he sighs and then comments in a lower tone with his back to them "He always can handle it."


	13. New Friend

(13)

Castiel is about to enter his car when a hand stops him from behind.

"Do you really have to go?" Sam makes his puppy eyes and Castiel smiles at him.

"I have things to do and I've been dragging them out for quite a long time."

The youngest one bows his head slowly and then talks.

"But I like you and I want to get to know you better" determination runs through his whole body. It seems he has always had that side.

Castiel refuses politely.

"I can't stay, but we'll keep meeting, this world is too small for us not to" Sam smiles unconvinced and Castiel puts a hand on his head. His friend is so small right now that he can hardly believe how tall he's going to grow.

"All right. Listen, I..." Sam has to ask, he knows that it might scare him, but his gut tells him that this will have a better outcome, so he comes closer forcing Castiel to bend down to his height and whispers carefully "I know you're not a human" and before the blue-eyed one can walk away he continues "Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone."

Sam can see how the older one takes his time, but at the end he just sighs and smiles at him again.

"You are a very smart young boy, Sam" hundreds of possible futures for Sam go through his head, he knows it is not his place to choose his friend's future, so he will only try to give him the best opportunities by trying to destroy everyone who tried to break him in the past timeline.

"When will we see each other again?" Sam is eager to know how Castiel lives because now he his a new possible friend. He cannot understand how he has become a hunter and it is a great mystery that he will love to discover.

"Probably soon, but if at any time you need me just call me" he'll do everything he can for his friends even when they don't know him like on that other timeline.

"Do you have... a phone at which I can call you?"

"Just say or think my name, I'll listen to you" he sees no reason to hide that he can reach him in seconds, the only thing he does want to keep secret is the fact that he's an angel, he doesn't know what he can trigger with that.

Sam opens his eyes wide.

"That's great! You're great!" he says and hugs him.

It's been a long time since Cas hugged any of his friends, and at that moment having Sam completely surrounded by him, even with his invisible wings, he decides that he has to make his first major movement, being on safe ground isn't going to protect everyone else from the future.

"Thank you, Sam. Take care" he finally lets go of his grip on the minor who smiles and then talks.

"You too, Cas. Good luck on your hunt" Sam moves his hand back and forth in a farewell gesture as he backs up to the house and then disappears behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God. I really love what's coming out of this.
> 
> Sometimes I get frustrated 'cause a chapter isn't how I wan't it to be so... a few of the chapters aren't the best but I just really love some others and those are the ones that keep me writing.
> 
> Also, holidays aren't really good for my brain. I become lazy and some days I don't even get out of bed, which makes me feel bad about me.
> 
> I was starting to feel pretty good with me (running, reading, cooking and playing the piano) and my self-esteem was a lot better, but suddenly I hit the ground and well... I've been listening music, watching Star Wars 1-6 (again) and drinking a lot of tea and coffee so... It has been a rough couple of weeks, I know this is gonna pass but it's still tough get trough it.
> 
> Anyway, writing notes at the ends of a chapter helps me. It's not necessary for you to read this, only with writing it I feel a little bit better.


	14. Planning Over Memories

(14)

He get's in the car, starting it and leaving the parking lot.

All of his serious features show his determination. He needs to stop playing 'hunter' and get to work for real.

At a speed he wouldn't be able to go without his mojo he's headed for the last hunt he's gonna make before setting foot in the mess the Apocalypse is.

.

The hunt was in Nebraska, and it didn't take him more than a day to find the witches that were killing people to continue on his way to Kansas.

It had been a fight a bit nasty with them, his clothes were burned a lot during the combat and he thinks he still smells the guts of that dead rabbit one of them threw at him as the closest, and last, resort.

He would have liked to take a shower, but he had to make up for all the time he lost, so with the same sweater he wipes his face and then with some mojo he cleans all of his clothes.

The music in the car is off and his brain is working at a mile a minute. Thinking about who he can take off the Apocalyptic board without the other pieces taking enough importance of it to suspect that someone is trying to stop the big fight.

He could start with Lilith to make it impossible for them to break the last seal, but he knows the demons will find some other way to free Lucifer.

Azazel on the other hand is the first one to cause trouble and the one who made Sam return to the hunter world, but not having him may cause Alastair to accomplish what the previous one did and that would end up being much worse.

By the other hand... Alastair is important, yeah, he's ruthless and the best torturer, he's moderately important in the Apocalypse and one of the most important in Hell while he lived, but if he kills him first it might be his best move, they might not link his murder to the Apocalypse, at least not for a good while.

It's when he decides to have him die first that he notices he's just arrived at the bunker, his home, owner of so many memories, good ones and bad ones.

He pulls out the key Chuck led him to, and opens the door.

.

It is dark, completely dark for someone who does not have the sight of the newcomer, the dust is everywhere and Castiel turns on the lights.

For some reason he expects to see the place like the last time he was there, but no, everything is covered in dust, and without the changes Sam and Dean had made over the years they inhabited the place, he runs his hand along the banister removing some of the dirt that forms a grey layer over everything. He walks all over the place, the library, the kitchen, the archives, the computer room, the shooting hood, Sam's room, Dean's room.

When he gets to his room he drops his backpack on the green couch in the right corner of the room, sits for a few seconds on the corner of the bed and after accepting the state of the Bunker he lets out a sigh and heads to the garage which is strangely empty without the Impala in the center.

After he stowed the car he sets to read every book in the library, and sometime later he even founds himself looking up every weapon and relevant information in the files. Later he'll had time to clean up, now he needs to be strong and smart enough so everything does not repeats again.

Time flies and he barely notices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for update so late, I've been having a lot of homework 'cause apparently I'm unable to be a productive human being and, instead of doing everything in time I just spend a lot of time reading and listening to music or thinking about other stories that I want to write after finishing this so... sadly I can't promised to actualize faster, but I'll try my best. Hope you like this chapter.


	15. Drawn Memory

(15)

Sam finds a drawing hidden between the seat and the couch. In the drawing he can see his brother and himself.

"Hey, Bobby. Can Cas draw?" he asks without revealing the reason for his question.

"He's good, once we interviewed a witness and Castiel drew an almost perfect portrait with just the description of it." He approaches the younger one, sitting down next to him and taking the sheet of paper he offered him.

"I like it," he's still looking at the drawing and then he takes it when the older one hands it to him "I hope we meet again soon. I feel we could be friends, maybe best friends."

"I think you both would be very good friends," he ruffles her hair.

"Yes, though I doubt Dad would like it," he says and Bobby can't help but compare him to a sad little puppy.

"When has he ever liked anyone? Your father's a damn curmudgeon," he snorts and goes to sit at the desk.

Sam laughs, agreeing with him.

"Dean needs a friend too," Sam says shortly after, softly.

"Yeah, your brother is very closed off, and he and Castiel couldn't be more different, but for some strange reason they seem to like each other," Bobby says distractedly picking up a book he was reading for the hunt he had planned with Castiel. He was not going to admit that he was worried even though he knew the young man was as, and even more, capable than he was.

"Are you worried about him? Do you think he'll be alright?" Sam asks as he notices how Bobby suddenly becomes serious instead.

"He'll be fine," he sighs and for the rest of the day they both try not to think about Cas.

.

Dean on the other hand is blank. A part of him keeps screaming at him to go to Castiel and make sure he's okay, but he doesn't understand why he should, he barely even knows him.

"Yeah, but he doesn't look like a competent hunter, he doesn't look like a hunter, period." Dean lets out a grunt and turns up the sound of the music coming through his headphones in an attempt to drown out his thoughts.

He's in the room and trying not to think about anything he finds a cassette on the small nightstand at the foot of the opposite bed.

He reaches over and picks it up examining it, but not recognizing it as his own.

_'Castiel - Phil Collins'_ written on the cover in cursive handwriting similar to Castiel's notebook.

He removes his cassette and puts this one in his Walkman.

The tune of Easy Lover begins to play and he doesn't notice when a smile appears on his face.

With a little jump he lies down on the bed, closes his eyes and loses himself in the music for almost two hours.

He's never been quite a fan of Collins, but he has to accept, at least to himself, that he's good at the drums.


	16. Changing the Forgotten Past

(16)

January, 1997.

One month later.

Castiel remembers how it was impossible for him to kill Alastair without Sam the first time. This time, however, he would have no backup, so he had to be prepared.

He got the location of The Colt, the man who had it barely and noticed when the angel took it.

Castiel didn't think he would need it any more than he did.

He also discovered a way to get into hell in a book by a witch he learned the location of from one of the bunker files. He knows what he's going to be at a disadvantage, but he also knows how to hide his true form and appear to be a 'simple' human soul.

He's worried that the plan won't work, of course, but he has to take a chance, he can't let it all repeat itself when he can change that.

He sits at the center of the room where the files are, all the necessary ingredients in a bowl, placing his hand there and finishing reciting the incantation.

A purple light illuminates the bowl and Castiel appears somewhere in hell.

He walks around the place hiding from everyone and getting lower and lower.

.

It was a long time before he found Alastair, he was a little further down from where he had found Dean in their first encounter.

Several times he wanted to use his wings, but he didn't want to attract attention and to do that it was safer not to use his mojo, not now at least, and he hoped he didn't find himself in the situation that forced him to.

The demon was alone with a soul that looked like it had just arrived in hell for the little damage inflicted on his soul.

Castiel stopped breathing, which wasn't a big deal as he didn't need to do it down here.

He thought of all the advantages he had, like the fact that the demon didn't really know what he was, but he barely knew the place, however he was already here, now he had to finish the first part of his plan.

He went back a few meters, always watching out for another demon to appear.

With his clothes totally destroyed and his body full of wounds, -he knew it would be really strange to appear completely clean-, he tousled his hair a little more and putting into practice everything he had learned in acting classes, which he had attended during the last months, Castiel changed his breathing to an agitated one and his face to a scared and half lost one. He was very bad at acting, but the girls who were in charge of teaching the classes encouraged him many times and the last week they told him that he had made a lot of progress but that he had to keep trying just as hard, he new they where saying the truth.

He also knew that he wasn't ready, he didn't feel ready, but he threw all that away and 'got into character' like the girls always told him to do.

There was no turning back now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters! UwU  
> I was gonna wait some days, but then I said "fuck it."  
> :3


	17. Pretty Boy in Hell

(17)

The incessant screaming is Alastair's favorite tune, he enjoys it so much that he has completely forgotten how it was before he became one of the worst torturers in hell.

He turns his back on his new toy and approaches the space where all his torture weapons are located.

He could use... some new noises make him look up to find a young man running towards where he is and looking back in search of not being followed.

Alastair, smiling, appears in the path of the boy who ends up crashing into him, falling to the ground where he tries to crawl backwards.

"No, no, no, no, don't run," he approaches slowly but confidently, knowing that this soul will not escape, just like the others, "There is no need to try to run here."

Alastair manages to identify that this little one is new, for his soul is almost complete.

"How did you get so far down, cutie?" ...His screams, how will they sound like? Well, only one way to find out.

"I...I...I shouldn't be here" he seems about to burst into tears, the words come out with such a delicious terror "I didn't...I didn't do anything wrong Why am I here?" The despair was beginning to make its way into every word that burst out and Alastair simply lifts him up with his powers and pulls him closer to himself.

The young man tries to back away, the fear growing even more. He will definitely love the time he's gonna spend with this one.

"You shouldn't run away, you know? You can get to worse places if you go too low, luckily you came with me," he moves even closer, smelling the fear to the point of almost tasting it. And when he feels the boy shuddering he moves away a little without letting go completely of the control in his body "Let's go."

He approaches the space where he was and takes his favorite blowtorch, he loves to be the first to burn such a young and clean body.

When he turns the kid's face is a little more serious, pale, and he moves to hit him with some large tongs that were on the table seconds before, Alastair smiles without moving, but when the kid is about to hit him he stops it with his hand in a relaxed movement.

The boy's eyes widen and he simply smiles wider.

"I like people who fight. We're going to have a good time," he approaches the boy and floats him over to where the other soul is, pinning him with chains to the wall.

A terrified, choked scream escapes his mouth as the cold chains come into contact with his wrists and ankles.

Alastair looks at the now exposed childish socks and the urge to destroy the young man completely floods him. He lights the blowtorch and moves it closer to one of the young man's arms.

"Believe me, you're going to enjoy this, and if you don't, at least I will," pleas and cries begin to rush out, but they are muffled by the first scream of many others.

.

Castiel feels numb all over his completely burned right arm and leg and the pain is like an incessant scream all over his body, Alastair seriously took his time to get to his feet, where he knows he will have his best chance, but he knows this is necessary for him to have a better chance at shooting plus he's not going to let it go to a point where he can't kill him.

All the blood coming out slows his breathing and that's when the demon ducks low enough for him to pull the Colt out of his back after disintegrating one of the chains and shoots as fast as an angel is capable of.

Alastair glows and drops to the ground like a sack with no time to even notice, the angel relaxes, but doesn't allow himself to close his eyes. He needs to get out of here, now.

He climbs out of the rest of his chains with some effort and angelic mojo to crouch down to where the motionless body lies, taking the bullet embedded in his skull and closing his fist on it, then turns to look at the hanging, semi-conscious man.

He takes his sword and decapitates him, he can't let him say anything and he will suffer less in the empty. He takes the blowtorch previously used on him and burns both bodies.

.

As he walks away he finds a room where he can feel something that belongs to heaven. When he enters he finds the same spear that the prince of hell Ramiel had when he was about to assassinate them.

This had been a really, really good first not so small victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's been a pretty shitty day so I almost didn't post chapter. I had my physics exam and got the more stupid mistakes.
> 
> *sighs* I'm hopping to get a 7 out of 10 or more, but that's thinking too high so yeah, I fucked up.
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter, I really enjoyed writing Alastair's death.


	18. Jimmy Novak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I needed a funny/happy chapter after the last one.  
> Thanks for sticking around🖖🏻!

(18)

May, 1997.

Four months later.

Dean and Sam are at a motel in Chicago, his father found a case of a mermaid and they are going to be here for a while.

"Come on, Sammy, you're going to be late for school. Since when do you take so long?" Dean complained already at the door with the keys to the Impala that his father had left him since his birthday, after 'buying' a truck so he would be all set with the Impala.

" I'm coming, m' coming. Was just looking for some notes" Sam replies and walks out the door with Dean trailing behind him.

On the way to school there is no music and Sam recites formulas non-stop.

"Relax, you'll be fine, we went over the syllabus last night and you've seen it all" Dean tries to take the notes from him, but Sam shrinks back in his seat so much that he looks like he wants to melt with the door.

"Yeah, maybe, but I still don't know this stuff by heart," he lets out a sigh, "Lab sucks."

"Says the genius boy," Dean remembers that this was one of the least boring subjects, al least when they were doing something other than theory. He says nothing more and pulls into the school driveway.

Sam runs out, stumbles a bit almost knocking over his notes, but regains his balance instantly and continues on his way to the doors.

"I'll pick you up at 3:30!" Sam waves his hand indicating he heard him and enters the building.

Dean smiles and starts off in the direction of a small restaurant-cafe where he found work.

.

The Winchester smiles at the customer after giving him his change of the order and when the woman turns her back he lies down at the bar letting out a sigh with his head between his arms, he had been at his new job for about 5 hours and he has already been 3 hours tired of it.

"Are you all right?" He hears a voice asking him, so he raises his head and finds an unreal Castiel, his voice is less thick, and he is wearing a completely black and neat suit. He goes blank for a few seconds "Could you serve me a double espresso?" 'Cas' asks, trying to bring back to reality the young employee.

"Cas?" is the only thing that comes out as an answer.

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Jimmy," he offers just as kindly and Dean is thankful there is no one else in line.

"Man, you look too much alike" Dean steps away to prepare the order from the Castiel-like man and tries to simply concentrate on the steps he has to follow which are written down on little colorful postics stuck everywhere.

The face is similar, yes, but everything about him is completely different, the way he speaks, the way he holds himself, even his smell is different. When he notices this last thought he blushes a little, but as he places the coffee in a white cup, along with the lid he has time to compose himself and get his cheeks a little less red.

"Here you go. It'll be 2.70" They don't look at each other for the rest of the time it takes Dean to take the money.

"Keep the rest, thanks," Jimmy walks out the door and through the window he can see him kiss a woman, take her by the hand and disappear from sight.

...What the actual fuck just happened?

.

Sam gets into the car.

"You're late," he complains.

"I told you I was going to be here at 3:30," Dean rolls his eyes and walks away from the school. "Anyway, how was school?"

"Good. The humanities teacher gave me a weird funny look halfway through her class," he pouts, but plays it down.

Dean looks at him seriously and then turns his attention back to the road.

"What kind of weird?" His voice changes to a protective one and Sam sighs.

"Nothing to worry about, Dean. She just broached the subject of mothers and I had to tell her that, well, I only have you and Dad. That kind of weird, pity." Sam just sits there and Dean doesn't know what to say.

He turns on the radio and sets it to a low level, something rare for him.

.

"I found a Castiel clone today," he says shortly after they start eating some sandwiches he brought home from work.

Sam looks at him funny, slightly annoyed but hides it with the 'my brother's crazy' face.

"Mh uh," he takes another bite.

"Seriously, man. His face was identical to Castiel's, but he was dressed in a suit and his tone of voice was less gravelly" Dean tries to explain.

"Maybe it was his long-lost twin," he suggests.

Non of the brothers comment any more on the subject and after a while Sam goes to do his homework while Dean cleans the weapons with his mind occupied with Castiel and his 'twin'.


	19. The Amphitheater

(19)

"Castiel! Wait" the organizer, who must be a few years older than his vessel, calls out to him as he begins to leave the stage after gathering his things.

He stops and waits for the young woman to come to him.

"Victoria," he greets politely.

"Denisse, Fatima and I are going out tonight and we wanted to see if you would like to come with us," the young woman smiles and he can see how they mentioned ones are on the other side of the stage.

"I'm flattered, but I have to...." He stops when he sees the look on the young woman's face.

"Come on, we want to get to know you a little better. I swear you'll have fun," she puts her hands together, "Just this once."

Castiel lets out a sigh.

"Well... I can go today" he had plans today, but he could delay them, the girls were nice and he likes the idea of meeting new people even when he's not good at it.

"Great" the other girls come over and leave the small theater.

"It's good of you to come, Cassie," Denisse tells her as they walk through the door seconds after bumping into the dance group entering the place.

"Hey, but your boyfriend isn't coming today, is he? That idiot is always looking for a fight -Fatima complains to Denisse and Denisse only frowns a little.

"He's not an idiot" the other two laugh and hug her "Okay, maybe a little, but he's such a sweetheart" she sighs and the others deny.

"Let's not talk about that today, Cas is coming with us" Victoria speaks with a slightly different tone than the one she usually uses when she directs the theater, this one sounds more relaxed.

It is about to get dark and they head to a coffee shop in the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna warn you: I think this next chapters are gonna be a little slower. So ... yeah, sorry. But the boys are gonna get there! ... eventually.  
> I'll try to keep posting like this past days.


	20. Nostalgic Milkshakes

(20)

The place is full of pastel colors, highlighting the calm that reigns.

They are talking at one of the tables next to the picture window.

"That day my sister didn't show up for the performance, and I knew all her lines because she always rehearsed with me, so I ended up doing it myself" the milkshakes arrived at that moment and Denisse stops talking to hide behind her glass.

Victoria hasn't stopped smiling the whole time and when she sees that she's not going to continue, she stays in her place.

"I was watching the play, at that time they still wouldn't let me have my own project and I was there just to give a report. Fuck, not even your performance was as bad as hers that day -Denisse almost spits out the smoothie and when she swallows it she chokes for a few seconds starting to cough, Fatima rubs her back unable to stop laughing.

"It was..." Another laugh escapes her- it was the funniest disaster in the world. I didn't have time to feel pity because I was laughing like never before in my life" she laughs again but instantly hugs her still rubbing her back.

Castiel can't help himself and eventually his small smile grows when he burst out laughing as he sees them so happy.

"I liked acting but I didn't want to make a fool of myself again, so I signed up for classes" she smiles a little when the others applaud and turns to look at the young man "There, I've already told my story of how I ended up in the theater, now it's your turn."

"It wasn't interesting at all, unlike what you just told me," she takes a cookie from the center of the table.

"Well, we still want to know, you're the fastest progressing student I've ever had" Victoria encourages him "How did you become so determined to get good?"

Castiel is silent for a few seconds trying to know what to say, he can't mention that it's for his mission to stop the Apocalypse, so... what made him want to become a good actor?

"One... one of my best friends said that I was very bad at expressing or understanding feelings" Cas smiles to himself "Next to him and his brother I feel that anyone could be bad, but... I think I'm still clinging to all the time I spent with them that now, to feel like I'm with them again, I do everything that reminds me of them, everything they represented -he takes another bite and when he looks up he sees all the eyes between surprised and sadness.

"Well..." Denisse shrinks in her place "Your friends... you don't need to answer, but.... Did something happen to them?"

Cas smiles at her when he notices her worried tone but stays quiet long enough thinking about what to say making Victoria speak.

"You don't have to tell us, Cas. But we are here if you ever want to talk," they all share a comfortable silence and Fatima takes a last sip of her smoothie leaving it on the table and speaking.

"Well, we didn't invite you just for milkshakes, now the fun begins," they all smile at each other and he just looks at them curiously.


	21. Human Night

(21)

The sunset begins to fade, giving way to a dark blue sky full of stars.

Castiel knows the small town to some small extent, so he has no idea what to expect when they stop at a building in the farthest and loneliest part of a shopping mall.

"Okay..." Denisse laughs as she sees the confusion all over Castiel's face.

"It may look a little questionable," Fatima continues.

"Too questionable. The first time they brought me in I thought they were going to kidnap me," Victoria raises an eyebrow along with her shoulders in resignation.

"But! It's because it's a special club," When she says this Denisse sounds like a little 7 year old who just told a 'big secret'.

"Of course, and lucky for us my cousin belongs to the club," Fatima crosses her arms across her chest and smiles proudly "The son of a bitch didn't want to let me in at first, but the place is huge and we only use the area of..." Denisse covers his mouth.

"He has to see it for himself," Fatima nods and Denisse removes her hand.

"Come on, I'm sure you'll like it. Besides, today the place is practically only for us" Victoria encourages him and starts walking towards a metal door, following the rest of them closely.

They pass several rooms; a bar, bowling alleys, pool tables next to tables where they play gambling, the last one being the only place occupied by a small group of young men.

"Don't look at them for too long" Fatima whispers and blocks the view with her face.

They walk down a large hallway that ends in a large double door through which they cross.

Arriving at an arcade.

"I wish this were our destination, but it's going to have to be left for the next time, these two crazy girls wanted to do something more.... 'fun'" -Fatima complains and Denisse grabs her arm smiling at her.

"Come on, it's not that bad. I'm sure you'll love it, Cas," Denisse drags Fatima in the same position and Victoria just smiles softly shaking her head from side to side.

"I hope you like this day enough to want to go out with us again," Victoria turns to look at him and he not knowing what to do just nods his head.

The next room they come to is completely alone, and they head to a bar where they can see shoes with blades on the soles.

-Normally the place is full," Fatima explains, crossing under the bar.

-But these days they went on a school trip," Denisse sits in one of the high chairs and Victoria imitates her in the seat on the left side where the first one is.

Castiel stands for a few seconds hesitating what to do but sits down in the empty space next to the youngest.

-Why are they just sitting there? Are they planning for us to do all this without music? -Fatima complains as she puts Denisse's skates in front of her while looking at everyone.

Victoria lets out a small laugh and gets up and walks away towards a corner of the rink.

-What's your size? -Castiel turns around when he hears Fatima's question and remains blank for a few seconds, "Shoe size?

Castiel answers with something similar to a "30", but this is drowned out by a terribly loud start of music that is turned down almost instantly followed by a nervous "sorry" from Victoria.

-That girl is going to kill me one of these days -Fatima complains but reaches for the new guy's skates.

.

Denisse is the one who explains practically everything to her, showing her herself how to do everything, from putting on the skates, walking with them to the ice rink and not falling on the ice after entering.

The angel no doubt finds this event amusing, for he is unable to stop watching in amazement as his feet move across the smooth surface, and when he saw Fatima do a somersault he had the instinct to try to imitate her.

He falls the first time, but feels it is like the first time he learned to fly; liberating, risky and beautiful.

The next few hours the four of them try to do everything on the runway laughing and complaining a little every time they fall, but who were they not to get up? who were they not to enjoy all their new achievements for just a few small bruises?


End file.
